Abe Lincoln Gets PWNed

It seems that there was a rumor, passed along in a watchmaker's family, that this watchmaker inscribed a secret message in the pocketwatch of Abraham Lincoln. This week the 150 year old rumor was proven true when a museum curator carefully removed the watch's back and observed the golden inner plate.

According to Fox News, the watch had a message all right. It said "Jonathan Dillon April 13 - 1861 -Fort Sumpter was attacked by the rebels on the above date." Another part reads, "Thank God we have a government."

That's interesting as hell. However, I notice the news media didn't report the biggest piece of script engraved on Lincoln's inner watch plate. It read, in large letters, "Jeff Davis." Jeff Davis was the President of the Confederacy.

The mainstream media have claimed that the the watchmaker in 1861 was a Union man and perhaps that's true. However, I doubt it. Jefferson Davis was the President of the Confederacy when Fort Sumter was attacked. He was sworn in on February 18, 1861. Therefore it appears the mainstream media got the story all wrong. It appears that the watchmaker was a Confederate sympathizer, not a Union man as they claimed. His comment "Thank God we have a government" most logically refers to the new Confederate government.

So Honest Abe got to walk around with his pocket watch, never knowing he was carrying around the name of his number one enemy. Abe Lincoln had been PWNED.

That's rich. As a Confederate descendant, I heartily approve.

See photo of the watch. Jeff Davis is inscribed on the piece of metal shaped roughly like a sleeve.