Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Torment of Terrible Television Shows: "Ghost Adventures" Vs "Finding Bigfoot"

Not working is really, really boring.  My favorite time of day is the evening.  Around 11:00 PM I go to bed where I and my dog watch any scary movies that may be on Chiller.  If Chiller is playing those idiotic "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episodes, I may instead turn on "Ghost Adventures" where an obnoxious "ghost hunter" named Zak Bagans visits decrepit old prisons, insane asylums, lighthouses and western towns to hunt for ghosts.  He taunts any spirits flitting about, insults them, asks them really stupid questions and seems to think that behaving like a huge ass will draw the incarnates like bums to a barbecue.

Since a lot of this series is filmed in the dark, it is filmed through a night vision lens that make everything a sickly green.   Zak and company run through the halls of some deserted building exclaiming "OH MY GOD, DID YOU HEAR THAT?"  For variety, they sometimes yell "OH MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THAT?"  We didn't. They record "electronic voice phenomena" on digital recorders, sounds that when amplified appear to be voices from the other side, uttering messages like "Rosebud" or maybe "Shut up, you'll wake the dead!"

There's another show that I sometimes watch, too, because it is almost as good at curing insomnia as "Ghost Adventures."  That one is called "Finding Bigfoot."  The title is a bit odd since they never do.  Find Bigfoot, that is.  This gives the show a lot in common with "Ghost Adventures" above, where they never find any ghosts either.  Not that I care, because after 15 minutes I fade like a specter, snoring like Bigfoot on drugs.

In any case, in "Finding Bigfoot" scruffy men in beards run through the woods at night, hearing night noises (like a bear passing gas) and exclaiming earnestly, "There be Squatch in these woods!  Uh Huh!"  Squatch is short for "Sasquatch," a fancy name for "Big Foot."  Personally, I don't think these men know squatch.  Har har, a little humor there.

Some better shows include "Celebrity Ghost Stories" where movie stars, rock stars and others describe their personal encounters with the paranormal.  These can be quite creepy.  Another one I like is Bio:  "I Survived - Beyond and Back."  This one features real people who had near death experiences (NDE's) and tell about it.  Out of all of the above television shows, this last one is most believable...and rather inspiring.

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