Is Mormonism a Cult? Well, Yes, But So What?

  

Joseph Smith

I read in the news that Newt Gingrich fired a campaign staffer for saying that "Mormonism is a cult."

That was an impolitic thing to say, for sure.  Mormons tend to be good Americans and are a conservative lot, as a whole.

But is it true?

Yes, it's true.  The Mormon religion has very little resemblance to traditional Christianity.  It was started by one Joseph Smith in the 19th century.  Smith was just one of many false prophets to invent their own religion for power, wealth and booty.  (Girl booty, I mean.)  The falsity of this man and the incredibly stupid fairy tale he devised should be obvious to anyone with a brain.  Basically, Jesus appeared in America after his stint in the Holy Land, and did something with the two different races on this continent, one being the American Indian and the other a race of Roman-like characters who were wiped out by the former.

Smith, like Muhammad, was advised of this alternative religion by the appearance of an angel.  The Angel Moroni (Italian for "morons") appeared to Smith, whereas the Angel Gabriel (Arabic for "What a Schmuck") appeared to Muhammad.  Apparently, neither of these famous prophets noticed that the angels had hoofs for feet and a tail.

Mormons are nice people, but their religious beliefs seem incredibly stupid to me.  Why is there no archaeological evidence that the Roman-type race ever existed?  It is an obvious fairly tale that strains credulity to the breaking point.  But so what?

As Thomas Jefferson once noted, the fact that other men have a different religion than I, or no religion at all, doesn't harm me.  It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.   So Mormons, have your fun, believe your beliefs -- it's no skin off my nose.  Since Mormons aren't practicing jihad or blowing up trains or sawing off heads, I don't mind.  What I like about Mormons is their strong family values and community and cultural ties, which however they were instituted, are a very good thing.  In spite of their dubious origins, I have a lot of respect for the people of this faith.

Mormons' punishment for following the faker Smith will be incredulous laughter when they get to heaven.  Peter will welcome them at the Pearly Gate with tears running down his cheeks from mirth as he chokes out, between guffaws, "What on earth were you thinking?"  But he will let them in.

I'm not sure what God will do with Joseph Smith, however.  Maybe reincarnate him as a toad.  On the other hand, Smith might win the all-time Tall-Tales or Whopper contest.