Wednesday, December 28, 2011

As Kim Jung Mentally Il Is Laid To Rest...the Haunting Sound of "Taps," Played on a Kazoo

Kim Jung Mentally Il has been laid to rest.  The North Koreans are so poor that Il's casket was wheeled to the cemetery on a used skateboard...propelled along by the deft footwork of the New Dear Leader, Kim Jung Ungh!.

People were pointing out that the hearst was a 1976 Lincoln Continental, but that's not true.  It was a blown up picture of a 1976 Lincoln Continental, taped on to the camera-view side of the skateboard.  The photo was ordered from Office Max and flown in by carrier pigeon, which was promptly shot down by anti-aircraft fire and eaten.

However, it's true that North Korea has achieved much.  They have arrived at that position in the world so fervently hoped for by our own Dear Leader, Kim Jung Barack Obama.  No other country in the world feels inferior to North Korea, nor do they envy it's super-power status; and no one can claim that Evil Capitalists are exploiting the other 99% with products, services, technology, jobs or any kind of standard-of-living.  As for #OccupyNorthKorea, the people there who are living in tents, squalor, filth and poverty are called "the upper class."

Kim Jung Mentally Il's funeral was ended with the plaintive sound of taps.  Since the North Koreans can't afford a bugle, a lady with a kazoo was used instead.

Kim Jung Mentally Il's corpse was then taken to the processing plant where it was turned into Soylent Green.

Meanwhile, the North Korean military (which is everyone in the country, apparently) turned out to fake great expressions of grief, with loud wailing and bawling, tears.  I wonder how many were secretly thinking:  Thank God the bastard's dead.

See for yourself:

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