A Real Life Jabba the Hut: World's Fattest Man Denies Devouring Cleveland

Jabba the Hut

Paul Mason

A U.K. man (one Paul Mason) got so fat (at 980 pounds) that he made Michael Moore look like a fitness freak.  The man devoured everything in sight, turkeys, hams, pizzas, homeless people, dogs and cats and even small cars.  However, there is no truth to the rumor that he also devoured Cleveland.  Now he's suing the National Health Service for not stopping him.  Someone should have wrestled him to the ground.  They would have, but they were afraid of being either crushed or devoured.

Well I may have exaggerated his actual food intake somewhat, but the guy does have a small point (the only thing about him that is small).  He told the NHS he had an eating disorder but they sent him to a mere dietitian.  This guy needed more than a diet, he needed some serious therapy.  Eating disorders are a serious mental health problem and people die from them.

At his fattest, Paul was 70 stone.  A stone is the equivalent of 14 pounds, so Paul's weight got up to 980 pounds. Paul finally got lap-band surgery and his weight has shrunk dramatically, down to 518 pounds (hopefully, still dropping).  This probably saved his life and prevented a copyright infringement lawsuit from Jabba the Hut.

You go Paul, we're rootin' for ya.

Read all about it (and see some amazing photos) here.

Hat tip to Ann Althouse.

The Frost is on the Pumpkin, the Wolf is at the Door

Ah, tomorrow is the first official day of Fall. However, it's already been cool here in the Bay Area the past few days. Yesterday I had to turn on my heater for the first time when I got up.

Last night and this morning it rained hard here in San Benito County. Baby, it's cool and getting colder. This, after a mild summer. The more they talk about global warming the cooler it gets.

This time of year we have Halloween out here in the farmland. We see black cats silhouetted on fences at night, cardboard bats and skeletons appear. The scariest thing, though has got to be Hillary Clinton, pandering to the something-for-nothing crowd. Halloween puts candy in your jack-O-lantern, whereas Hillary will just take it all out again and redistribute it to the poor, i.e. those too lazy to trick-or-treat on their own. These supine grabby types are sometimes known as Democrats and Hillary is leading the charge.

It's bad enough that she robs you, but she does it with such attitude. She wears this very dour, pissed-off look as she describes her new universal health plan, as if you have somehow inconvenienced her by not turning over all the loot voluntarily.

Ah yes, that's D.C, but this is California! Land of the Big Wimp, the Governator, the emasculated liberal lap-dog known as Arnold Schwarzenegger. Who would have ever guessed that "the Terminator" would have as his major accomplishment "terminating" the economy of California? Perhaps in reprisal of his role as a Soviet Police Captain, Ahnahld is now attempting to socialize medicine in the State of California so that everyone will have universal health coverage. Yes, yes, a few million illegal aliens will cross the border each day to apply for coverage, but let's not blow it out of proportion. We will have health care for all!

You know what this means of course? That no one will ever get sick again!

No, you idiot, it doesn't mean that.

It means we who work will already have even more of our California income drained away in taxes so that Democrats can buy the votes of the lazy, unproductive and indigent. Doctors will flee the state, waiting lines for medical care will expand exponentially and 98% of the businesses will relocate to Nevada. Well, they will if they're smart. The other 2% will just go bankrupt.

Meanwhile, if you see a grizzled old guy in a cowboy hat with a stogie in his mouth, hitchhiking towards Nevada, give him a ride, will ya?