Today is "Earth Day." It's all part of the liberal worship of the earth as the new God. Evil humans are savaging the environment through industrialization, meat-eating, capitalism and SUVs. Liberals know that, in order to stop this disaster and save the earth, we must take drastic measures.
If you read all of the liberal thought on the matter, you will find that in order to save the Earth and turn it into the City of Oz, we must do the following:
1. End capitalism. There is a well-established link between prosperity and pollution and the best way to end prosperity and industrial activity is to adopt socialism. That always stops prosperity dead in its tracks.
2. Ride bikes and get rid of cars. Think of Vietnamese peasants with straw hats in thonged sandals. We must become like them. Poor.
3. Smoke lots of pot. It's the only CO2 that doesn't harm the environment, and besides, it creates good karma.
4. Stop having babies. It is an indisputable fact that Earth would be better off without humans. Think of what a paradise the Earth would be then! For squirrels.
5. Become vegetarians. Eating meat causes global warming through cow flatulance. If hamburgers were banned, farmers wouldn't raise cows, thus lowering the flatulance level. Global warming would come to a screeching halt.
6. Celebrate diversity. This has nothing to do with saving the planet, but what the heck, it sounds good.
7. Get naked. This also has nothing to do with saving the planet, but it's a moonbat tradition and besides, we like seeing naked people, especially women. This step goes especially well with No. 3 above. Even fat hippie women with hairy armpits start to look good after awhile.
8. Support wildlife. Go whale watching. We like whales because they don't have flatulance and aren't capitalists. Also, they look really cool on sweatshirts and coffee cups. Go down to the beach and kiss a seal.
Well, that's about it. I have to go now, I have to work on enlarging my carbon footprint.
