This just in: Brain-Eating Zombies (BEZ) from outer space have invaded earth and demanded that all humans submit immediately to the head cook for brain extraction and seasoning. This is to be completed in time for lunch tomorrow.International ANSWER has released a statement saying that oppressed zombies from anywhere "have a right to eat the brains of their oppressors." Liberal demonstrators have picketed the White House in solidarity with BEZ, carrying signs stating "End the Brain Occupation Now" and "Humans With Uneaten Brains = (Swastika)."
A White House Press Secretary stated that if liberals had any brains, they wouldn't be so anxious to cooperate with BEZ. Unfortunately for the rest of us, there is nothing standing in the way of a new coalition of Liberals and Brain-Eating Zombies from Outer Space. Other pundits have wondered how this new development will impact the mid-term elections. The GOP Chairman replied, "What are you nuts? It couldn't get any worse than it already is!"
Conservative leaders complained bitterly about this new form of illegal immigration, but Democrats urged the new visitors to register and vote for Democrats, who would provide them with free college tuition and food stamps. Nancy Pelosi gave a speech to the Commonwealth Club about how "diversity is our strength" and noted that the new immigrants are really diverse all right, with their giant bulging eyeballs and purple skin. Those insisting on a new diet for the immigrants were quickly labeled "racists" by local Democrats, who noted that all cultures and dietary customs were equal and not to be criticized by those outside the ethnicity.
Meanwhile San Francisco declared itself a "Sanctuary City" for BEZ, ordering local police to make no inquiries into the immigration status of the drooling monsters.
More as the situation develops.
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