Ellen Barken: Hollywood Has-Been's Hair-Brained Hatefulness (Photoshop)

I've been hearing a lot about has-been Hollywood actress Ellen Barken lately.  When an aging Hollywood actress has nothing to do (because she has no roles), how does she fill her time?  By getting drunk and constantly tweeting profanity, hatred and ignorance.

Barking Barken's most recent regurgitations:

• She “loves everybody” except “u right wing f–kin morons“ and that Jon Lovitz needs to ”shut the f–k up.”

• Assorted profanity-laced drunken delirium -- see it here.


• On August 27, 2012, she created a controversy on Twitter when she sent out a re-tweet of a message someone sent saying they hoped Hurricane Isaac would hit the Republican convention and “wash every pro-life, anti-education, anti-woman, xenophobic, gay-bashing, racist SOB right into the ocean.” 


• On September 1, 2012, Barken claimed that Clint Eastwood had made a "death threat" against Barack Obama during his satirical skit at the Republican Convention.

According to Wikipedia, Ellen Barken once desired to study Ancient History...and now she is ancient history.  How ironic.

No Joke: Charlie Sheen is Seriously Disturbed

Charlie Sheen's Descent Into Madness

I just watched Charlie Sheen's latest "Sheen Korner" episode.  It last only about 15 minutes.  Sheen was unshaven, unkempt and even more rambling and incoherent than in his first episode.

All attempts to shame Charlie into seeking help have failed and his descent into madness continues unabated.

This man is in serious trouble and needs a major intervention in his life NOW.

Charlie Sheen's New Line of Men's Fragrances (Video, Photoshop, Satire)

Jimmy Fallon did a brilliant impersonation of Charlie Sheen, announcing a new brand of men's cologne called "Winning." Fallon's skit inspired my own Photoshop (hey, it was a slow news day, awright?):

And if you can't get enough of Sheen's narcissism, watch the video of his first internet broadcast of  "Sheen's Korner" here.  In it Charlie spends most of an hour blathering on about nothing in particular while his resident groupies sit behind him smiling and laughing at all of Sheen's bad jokes and witticisms.  They had better pretend support or be cut off the gravy train.  Pathetic.

Announcing CHARLIE SHEEN TEQUILA! (Photoshop, Satire)

Now you too can immerse yourself in drunken debauchery!  Buy a case today.  Or Two.





































Didn't like that one?  How about this one, where Charlie is poignantly, tragically immersed in a bottle of gin, drowning in his own drunken decadence.  You are supposed to look at it and see the tragedy of alcohol abuse, then imagine how deep and sensitive I am to point it out to you.  It's not as if poor Charlie were responsible for himself, for godsake.  He is merely a victim of society.  Boo hoo!

Charlie Sheen: a REAL WINNER! (Photoshop)