The Democrats, the Party of Change

This writer's strike has reached catastrophic dimensions - I was forced to watch the Democrat debate on television tonight. There was just nothing else to watch.

I can see that Barack Obama is going to be the next president of the United States. He's young, idealistic, good looking and very articulate. That and the fact that everything will be free for working families when he's elected. He will tax the pants off those rich fat cats and redistribute the loot to the people who voted for him. He will punish the big insurance, drug, health and oil companies for providing jobs, products and service to the economy - the selfish bastards! If they weren't so greedy they would already be providing these products and services for free.

Finally, we will have universal health care! In a couple of years we will have a health care systems to rival that of Cuba or maybe Nairobi. Bright young people, who wouldn't consider being a doctor before (due to the perks and high pay) will now flock to medical schools. They won't be able to wait to be government employees! Maybe they will get really swell uniforms like the post office. Since they will only be earning $37.50 a week after taxes, this will come in handy.

Finally, we will have peace in Iraq. As Obama has pointed out, abandoning the Iraqis to their fate will force them to get their act together, negotiate and compromise with one another, and not be so dependent on us. He probably remembers how well this worked in Southeast Asia. It also had wonderful population-control benefits as well.

Yes, when the Dems are elected we will have socialized medicine, higher taxes, and higher energy costs, too. The Party of Change will see to it that change is all we will have left in our pockets. I can hardly wait.