Avoid Global Cooling - Smoke a Cigar Today

According to the latest scientific reports, global cooling now threatens the planet.

Over the past year, anecdotal evidence for a cooling planet has exploded. China has its coldest winter in 100 years. Baghdad sees its first snow in all recorded history. North America has the most snowcover in 50 years, with places like Wisconsin the highest since record-keeping began. Record levels of Antarctic sea ice, record cold in Minnesota, Texas, Florida, Mexico, Australia, Iran, Greece, South Africa, Greenland, Argentina, Chile -- the list goes on and on.

No more than anecdotal evidence, to be sure. But now, that evidence has been supplanted by hard scientific fact. All four major global temperature tracking outlets (Hadley, NASA's GISS, UAH, RSS) have released updated data. All show that over the past year, global temperatures have dropped precipitously.

Read the whole thing here.

It is obvious that common dioxide emissions and other greenhouse gases must increase, and fast. All concerned citizens are urged to buy large SUVs, burn logs in their fireplaces, and encourage flatulence in cows. Be sure to smoke a lot of cigars. This latter step is most important (but for your own safety, however, keep lighted cigars away from flatulating cows to avoid the danger of explosion).

Al Gore could not be immediately reached for comment. At this very moment, no doubt, a repro team is seeking the return of his Oscar.