Saturday, June 13, 2015

Jurassic World #Jurassic #Dinosaurs

I went to see the new film "Jurassic World" today.  It is yet another sequel to "Jurassic Park," which debuted in theaters in 1993 -- more than twenty years ago.  I always watch these films because I like dinosaurs, am fascinated with how they might have looked, moved and behaved.  However, I expected the latest installment, "Jurassic World," would be derivative, predictable and a bit  clichéd.  In this I was correct.  It is the usual scenario:
  1. A bunch of irresponsible scientists and capitalists create one big-ass dinosaur, hoping to make money or get famous;
  2. The dinosaur escapes his pen and eats people, who run amok, waving their arms, screaming and yelling.  
 All these movies have a recipe:  

A.  Insert a dash of cute (this one a 10 year old boy with a mop-top, along with his older teenage brother) --  oh please.  This is boring but necessary from a marketing standpoint: you want to draw kids to the movie and make young mothers say "Awwww!"
B.  Make the two main characters one Virile Man and one Hot Babe, to create some sexual tension (well you have to have that, otherwise, no story);
C.  Insert typical plot device:  the babe disdains the Virile Man until he saves her sorry ass from the dinosaurs;
D.  Throw in some good dinosaurs too, to offset the mean, vicious ones, relieve tension, provide comic relief, and avoid stereotyping extinct lizards.  This time, the raptors are on the side of the angels, as well as the T-Rex, as they join forces against the evil synthetic monster, a hybrid dinosaur created in the lab in an effort to draw more crowds to the park.
E.  There is a villain who wants to weaponize the dinosaurs, sell them to the military and teach them to eat terrorists.  This meme is a familiar one -- it was used in the first "Alien" film 36 years ago.  Yawn.  Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with that.  Turning ISIS into dinosaur dung would be an amusing solution to Islamic terrorism -- and probably fun too.

Some memes that are happily absent from the film:
1.  There are no professional victims to stoke guilt and shame among white heterosexuals, feign social relevance or cheerlead some asinine leftwing cause du jour.
2.  The obligatory gay character, inserted to satisfy GLAAD and Hollywood moguls who are fixated on homosexuality, is nowhere to be seen.  I was very pleased by its absence, as I hate the constant preaching from this interest group.

The Moral of the Story:  If you're going to genetically engineer dinosaurs and bring them back to life, don't make them larger than their pens.  Then, genetically engineer them some more and make them vegetarians, except maybe for the weaponized ones.

If the profound philosophical implications of the Moral are lost on you, you may want to see the film anyway.  CGI (computer graphics) are better than those of 1993.  Dinosaurs are always fun, even when presented in a highly predictable and clichéd film that is a modern rehash of the same old story.

1 comment:

Wizard of the Saddle said...

>Not watching Mad Max: Fury Road.