Carved Pumpkins by Stogie

These are the first pumpkins I have carved in several years.  When my sons were small, it was an annual tradition.  I miss my three sons!!  Tomorrow I'll be driving to Murrietta, California to see the middle one -- the only one so far to give me any Grandkids.  I'll be visiting the Grandkids too.

My gun-toting nephew will be house sitting.  

Pumpkins Ready, Candy Too: Bring It On, Ghosts, Goblins and Ghouls!

I have two large pumpkins sitting downstairs awaiting the knife, to transform them into jack-o-lanterns.  I need to get on that today so it will be all ready for tomorrow.  It will be a mess.  How such a useful vegetable can have such disgusting innards, beats me.  Cleaning out a pumpkin feels like gutting a well ripened corpse.  Yuck!

I always save some seeds, planning to plant them in the back yard, but I either forget or never plant the seeds before Mrs. Chomper tosses them out.  Clearly, I'm the kid and she's the adult in this relationship.  I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up -- at least as far as having innocent fun is concerned.  She doesn't even smoke cigars!  What a party pooper.

Candy is ready too.  Mrs. Chomper says I have to turn off the porch light and stop dispensing candy at 8 PM, because after that the visitors are all older teenagers and even a few young adults.  I won't do it, though.  If there is candy left over, the light stays on until 9 PM.  No one is turned away. I'd rather have the trick-or-treaters eat the stuff than keep it around to tempt me (I love the sour stuff).  I have lost 12 pounds recently and want to lose more.

Approved (and Unapproved) Halloween Costumes for University of Colorado, Boulder

Approved Costume: A Rock

The University of Colorado, Boulder has informed its students not to wear offensive Halloween costumes this year.  That includes costumes of cowboys or Indians.  As we all know, the very first marching order of liberal culture and orthodoxy is that NO ONE shall ever be "offended" in any way, shape or form, by references to their ethnicity, profession, sexual preference, size, shape, religion, hair color, income level, or brand of toothpaste. Of course, the best way for the liberal intelligentsia to prevent such offenses is to have absolute power over your mind, thoughts and speech.  You will not think, act or speak without advance permission.  Make one mistake and you will  be publicly shamed, shunned, ostracized, and required to join the Tea Party.

The UC-Boulder Administration has not yet released an official list of Big Brother Approved costumes, so we are left to struggle with creating our own list.  An obvious choice:  go as a boulder, or big rock.  That will not offend anyone and ties in nicely with the name and location of the university.

Other inanimate objects are also a safe bet:  fire hydrants, telephone

Approved Costume:  A Tree

poles, lamp posts.  Of course, they are terribly boring, but no one will be offended.  Some living things are also allowed, as long as they are plants.  A tree is a great choice, and you will get many hugs from liberals.



AVOID THESE COSTUMES:

1.  A big black penis (yes, they do exist).  These tend to attract Kim Kardashian and may be offensive to blacks for some reason.
2.  Tinkerbelle.  Gays will definitely object.  Peter Pan isn't such a good idea either.  A fairy in green tights?  I don't think so.
3.  Ballerinas, Princesses, Angels -- These tend to imply that there is a difference between male and female genders, which good liberals know is just not true, and it is sexist to think so.  (Exception:  if you are a gay or transgender male you may go as these, but NOT if you are an actual female.)
4.  Pussies.  Please, we are all tired of Republican jokes and depictions.  Give it a rest.

Use your head out there.  The one on your shoulders.  For any questions, contact the Administration Office, University of Colorado at Boulder.

Fall Scene #Photoshop

Another Fall scene.

Fall Pumpkin #Photoshop

This was an experiment from a tutorial on the web.  Use as you see fit.

Halloween 2012

It's ten minutes until nine, and the steady stream of the witches, princesses, pirates, power rangers, ninjas, zombies, angels and ghouls, finally peters out.  At 9 PM I turn off the porch light and bring in the plastic jack-o-lantern that is illuminated with a bulb.  I can also let the dog back in from the backyard, where he was banished for his hyper intensive, noisy joy at seeing so many kids.

I very much enjoy the children who come to my door on Halloween.  Now, goodnight for another year.

My Busiest Halloween Ever: the Kids Just Kept Coming

I have lived (with my wife) in this house in Hollister, California for over ten years now.  On Halloween, it's my job to answer the doorbell and hand out the candy to the trick-or-treaters.  Last night was my busiest night yet.  The two large bags of candy were almost entirely gone by 9 PM, when we shut off the lights and went to bed.

I love seeing the precious children in their costumes, and I love them one and all!!

Some guy in Chicago has written that Halloweens there are in decline, that he still buys the candy but has a surplus left over when the night is done.  I guess somehow, he sees this as a sign of civilizational decline.   Well, not here in this little cow town where everyone knows everyone else and there is a lot more trust.

The kids just kept on coming and I loved it!

Waiting for the Trick or Treaters

The kids had better hurry, I'm on my second package of everlasting gobstoppers.

Happy Halloween: Obama's Scary Pumpkin (Cartoon)

Gourds! Holiday Photo.

Pumpkins! Indigenous Vegetables! (Photo)

Obama and the Great Pumpkin (Cartoon)

Fall Is In The Air

Fall  is officially here.  It came in on September 23, but I just now noticed it.  I love this time of year.

Big orange pumpkins are already in the fields and in the stores around here.  The sunlight is more muted, the temperatures cooling, the hills are browning (as is the grass in my backyard).  The air is sweet with the fragrance of dying grasses.

No breezes stir the trees and nature seems unusually quiet and still.  It's as if the earth itself were deep in meditation.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Halloween 2009

The parade of princesses, X-Men, fairies, clowns, spidermen, ballet dancers, soldiers, ghosts and raggedy-ann dolls is dwindling like the Halloween candy in the bowl by the front door.  The innocence of children always warms my heart and I love giving out the candy on All Hallows Eve.

The Halloween costumes were pretty standard this year.  No one was dressed as Nancy Pelosi's 1,990 page health care plan, or as Nancy Pelosi for that matter.  Kids are wonderfully non-political.

Well in another 29 minutes I'm turning off the porch light and spending the rest of Halloween reading my latest book:  SuperFreakonomics by Levitt & Dubner.  I read Freakonomics yesterday.  The authors say that if the book has a message it is that people respond to incentives.  Indeed, it is interesting to see how people align themselves with their own best interests, all the time.  The authors say that while morality tells us how the world should work, economics tells us how it actually does work.

That can be very useful information for navigating through life.  Indeed, it explains so much about how and why humans behave the way they do.

Michelle Obama Goes Green for Halloween

I did this Photoshop a year ago and it still gets a lot of google hits.  I think liberals out there in cyber space think it is an article about Michelle doing something environmentally fashionable for Halloween -- I don't know, maybe issuing candy with biodegradable wrappers or developing solar-powered brooms for witches, or whatever makes liberals feel good about themselves on Halloween.

In any case, here it is again.

Happy Halloween

This was sent in by Larry Bovshow in Los Angeles. Thanks Larry!

Stogie Photoshop: Michelle Obama Goes Green for Halloween

I saw this cover of Newsweek with Michelle Obama featured on the front; it was titled "The Real Michelle Obama." You can see the original Newsweek issue here.

Anyway, I had my own ideas about "the real Michelle Obama" and she is featured in this special Stogie edition of Newsweek for Halloween, 2008. Enjoy and use it on your blog or website as you see fit.

I like that cat. He is one pissed-off feline. Chill Kitty, I know the feeling. Here, have a cigar.

Cindy Sheehan Flying High

Considering the scary things we see these days, this Halloween may be the most frightening yet.

Picture of the cackling Cindy was borrowed from Zombie's site.

Go here to see Zombie's latest batch of pics.

Thanks Zombie, you know how we love scary stuff this time of year.








Happy Halloween!