|Approved Costume: A Rock|
The UC-Boulder Administration has not yet released an official list of Big Brother Approved costumes, so we are left to struggle with creating our own list. An obvious choice: go as a boulder, or big rock. That will not offend anyone and ties in nicely with the name and location of the university.
Other inanimate objects are also a safe bet: fire hydrants, telephone
|Approved Costume: A Tree|
AVOID THESE COSTUMES:
1. A big black penis (yes, they do exist). These tend to attract Kim Kardashian and may be offensive to blacks for some reason.
2. Tinkerbelle. Gays will definitely object. Peter Pan isn't such a good idea either. A fairy in green tights? I don't think so.
3. Ballerinas, Princesses, Angels -- These tend to imply that there is a difference between male and female genders, which good liberals know is just not true, and it is sexist to think so. (Exception: if you are a gay or transgender male you may go as these, but NOT if you are an actual female.)
4. Pussies. Please, we are all tired of Republican jokes and depictions. Give it a rest.
Use your head out there. The one on your shoulders. For any questions, contact the Administration Office, University of Colorado at Boulder.