Stephen Hawking: Don't Contact Aliens, They May Be Bad

Stephen Hawking, the genius and cosmos expert says that extraterrestrials undoubtedly do exist.  However, contacting them could prove fatal.  Who knows, maybe they will be lizardoids disguised as sexy humans, carrying a book with the title "To Serve Man."   Or, they may just be carrying germs that will kill us off because we don't have the right antibodies.  It's happened before.  The Costanoan Indians of California all died off from diseases carried by early white explorers.

Hawking said this:

"If aliens ever visit us, the outcome could be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans."

I asked one of the grays about this, the one named Dr. Zortak, who keeps transporting me to his saucer where I am placed naked on a metal table and probed and prodded with strange instruments.  I'll be honest, when I first met Zortak I had my suspicions that he wasn't a doctor at all, just another extraterrestrial pervert. After all, the only guys I know who dress in silver tights are from San Francisco.  But then he showed me his medical diploma from the University of Uranus and my fears were quieted.

At first Zortak didn't want to talk about Hawking's comments, preferring his usual small talk about making crop circles and levitating cattle.  However, I persisted.  Finally, my patience paid off.  Dr. Zortak snorted, asked me to roll over and then told me just what he thought of Stephen Hawking.  See picture above.

Dr. Z (as I like to call him) still hasn't told me whether his saucer lab accepts Medicare.  Maybe in the next visit.