Vittles Chomper Adoption Finalized!

This morning Mrs. Chomper and I met our son Cohiba, his wife and children, and our co-grandparents at the Podunk County Courthouse. We were there for a happy reason: to see the judge put the final stamp on Cohiba & Wife's adoption of Vittles Chomper.

Vittles (whose original name was Kimchee Bokchoy) came over from South Korea last September to join the Chompers family. At first I wasn't crazy about the idea of adoption. We Chompers have always opted for home-grown brats rather than the expensive imported variety. However, I soon learned the error of my views. Vittles is now 17 months old, with soft black hair and dark eyes and a mouth full of tiny white teeth. I don't think I have ever loved anyone or anything more than I love her.

Vittles seems quite drawn to Grandma Chomper (my wife). Maybe it's because they're both Asian and the same color. Vittles said to Grandma, "Goo goo gurgle gurple burp!" which is Korean baby talk for "Where'd we get all these honkies? Are they lost?"

We found our son Cohiba waiting outside the courthouse. He said to me, "C'mon Pop, we're gonna get the pink slip on this kid!" (A "pink slip" in California refers to the title document to a car.)

After the Judge stamped the final paper and shouted "Sold American!" we retired to the local Denny's for breakfast.

Vittles, true to her name, put away a short stack in short order. Cohiba said of her masticating proclivities, "She's a chomper!" I replied, "She's a Chomper indeed!"

Vittles' mom, Bonbon Chomper, is studying the Korean language so that when Vittles learns to talk, mom will be able to understand her.

Mom is blonde, but then you knew that.