There has been a lot of talk lately about the Washington Redskins Football Team. It seems the perpetually offended and eternally outraged have decided that the team name is "racist" (which is true, but then again, what isn't?). So public pressure is building on the team to change its name to something more politically correct and in keeping with dictums and nostrums of Big Brother. American Renaissance has some suggestions for the change, like "the Fighting Whities."
Instituting mascots with a white people's theme might be a refreshing change. I prefer "the Howling Honkies" myself. However, a white theme isn't unheard of, there is, after all, the Boston Celtics Basketball Team. Celtics, of course, is not a "slur," as "redskins" is said to be. Try naming a team "the Pugnacious Paddies" and you might get a different result. But I digress.
Washington needs a new name, lest outraged liberals be turned into pillars of salt, and a new and appropriate one must be found. The new name must make use of insulting stereotypes of white people, to even the score and to repay various minorities for decades of suffering insulting sports themes. Some possibilities:
1. The Washington Foreskins (a Jewish theme - helmet logo to be, uh, never mind)
2. The Washington Drunken Irishmen (motto: "they may lose games, but always win the fight that follows")
3. The Washington Stingy Scots (with a band of bagpipe playing Scots in kilts and tam o'shanters, cheerleaders dressed as haggis)
4. The Washington Rednecks (their uniformed mascot would resemble Bill Clinton and the cheerleaders wearing big hair-sprayed hair)
5. The Washington White Racists (in honor of white people everywhere - cheerleaders in klan hood miniskirts )
6. The Washington Red Ink (in honor of the Federal Government - cheerleaders in ball and chains)
7. The Washington Commies (in honor of the Democratic Party, Nancy Pelosi as head cheerleader)
8. The Washington Wishywashy (in honor of the Republican Party)
9. The Washington Old Goats (in honor of #7 & 8)
10. The Washington Jewish Penny-Pinchers (helmet logo the Star of David)
11. The Washington White Guys (the cheerleaders would be required to chew gum and act clueless)
12. The Washington Welchers (helmet logo would be an IOU)
13. The Washington Massive Conspiracy (Redskin Stadium to be renamed Alex Jones Stadium)
14. The Washington Illuminati (with cheerleaders dressed as pyramids with an eyeball on top)
15. The Washington International Bankers (their helmets would have its logo as $)
Use your imagination. Perhaps the theme will spread to other cities and teams, e.g., "the Baltimore Bigots." Considering the high gay population of San Francisco, the Forty-Niners could be renamed "the San Francisco Sixty-Niners." Or how about "the Memphis Moonshiners"? The "Tucson Taco Benders"? The idea is to be as rude, crude and offensive as possible without becoming pornographic. Love live the insulting white people stereotype!
P.S. I am not the least bit offended by the name "Washington Redskins." However, if San Francisco ever renames their team "The San Francisco Stogiechompers" they will hear from me. You have to draw the line somewhere.