Saturday, April 18, 2009

Breaking News: Southern Poverty Law Center Finds A Conservative Group That Isn't Racist, White-Supremacist or Extremist

The conservative group is the Russian Kulaks who are neither racist, white-supremacist or extremist. The bad news is that they are all dead. Undeterred, Mark Potok of the SPLC says he will keep looking until he finds a non-racist conservative organization that is still alive. Presumably, he will then slap a label on it that says "Racist, White-Supremacist and Extremist."

Further information from the SPLC website indicates the Center will press for legislation making it a "hate crime" to register as a Republican or to laugh at Joe Biden's hair plugs.

The SPLC took exception this week to a claim by Michelle Malkin that the SPLC has labeled the American Legion a "hate group" for opposing illegal immigration. The SPLC is adamant that they never said any such thing. They only said that the American Legion was a hapless if not willing tool of rightwing racist, white-supremacist and extremist groups and that they were in bed with these groups and up to their earlobes in such groups, but they never said the Legion was one of these groups. Thanks to the SPLC for this important clarification.

Last week the SPLC released its annual report on the growth of hate groups in the United States. Not surprisingly, the report once again shows an astounding growth in the number of hate groups in the U.S., making the role of the SPLC ever more important and their need for higher dues, fees, grants and donations all the more obvious (hint, hint).

In fact, the hate group racists now outnumber regular folks by 10,000 to 1, with only 3,232 non-racist people living in scattered enclaves throughout the United States. Hmm, come to think of it, if hate groups are expanding so rapidly, shouldn't we fire the SPLC and hire someone who can actually do something about it?

More as the situation develops.....

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