Rebranding Elizabeth Warren: How You Can Help

It looks like the liberal media is "rebranding" Elizabeth Warren, no doubt in preparation for a presidential run in 2018.  By "rebranding," they mean changing her image to something more marketable.  Right now she is seen as a far-left ideologue who lied about being part American Indian so she could have the non-white credentials so loved by the left.

The idiot piece described in the left image claims "Elizabeth Warren's Christian faith is deep and authentic, and it informs her work as a senator." Bull hockey!

This transparent media attempt to put lipstick on a pig has resulted in some funny Twitter feeds about Warren, some (like my own) recommending the wording for a better sales job.  Sort of like this:

Elizabeth Warren's Christian faith is deep and authentic, and it informs her work as a senator.  On Sundays after church she bakes apple pies to feed hungry children at the local orphanage.  At Christmas time, she can be seen singing Christmas carols on snowy street corners and dispensing cardigans (that she knitted herself) to street urchins and the homeless.  On July 4th you will find her setting off fireworks and playing John Philips Souza marches on loudspeakers outside her house, as she marches about beating a large bass drum while chanting "USA! USA!".

Yes, rebranding Elizabeth Warren can be fun.  Try it for yourself.

Dixon Diaz: Funny Man of FaceBook is a Conservative!

Dixon Diaz is a conservative Hispanic with a great skill for satire, humor and outraging liberals.  I think he is an undiscovered talent, because Dixon is truly FUNNY, all while making salient points about the hypocrisy and stupidity of liberalism.  He expresses his biting satire on FaceBook, most often as a short article, but sometimes as a cartoon.  One of his best cartoons is below.  It describes the Massive Jewish Conspiracy, which every leftist knows penetrates into every crack and crevice of American life.

You can see more of Dixon's work at this link, and do "Like" him on FaceBook to get his latest creations.  The Conservative Blogosphere would do well to disseminate Dixon's work far and wide.

Republished with permission.

Deck the Halls With Fiscal Folly, Fa la la la la, la la la la

This is Not Harry Reid

Elections have consequences.  There's a phrase we hear a lot these days.  And the disastrous consequences of Obama's re-election are becoming clearer by day.

Nasty little Democrats like Dick Durbin are saying that the Dems won't negotiate on spending.  They are just going to continue spending like drunken sailors on loco weed.  The wretched Harry Reid, who looks like that evil preacher in Poltergeist, is trying to get rid of the filibuster so his neo-Marxist party can continue to turn the USA into the next Venezuela (but without the oil).

According to Rush Limbaugh today, the Dems are again talking about seizing all private pension funds (like 401K's), nationalizing them so they can spend the money on more pork, welfare and entitlements, putting everyone on a government pension payment plan like Social Security, which as we all know is going broke.  So when the Dems do this, they will effectively be stealing the retirement of millions of people, exchanging those pension funds for worthless federal government IOU's.  (If this happens, it will undoubtedly be the trigger that launches the actual secession of various states and the shooting may start.)

My feeling is, if we are going to be transformed into a banana republic, why not act like one?  Here's hoping for a coup d'etat and summary executions of "progressives" in power, media and academia.  Okay, I wasn't really serious about the summary executions.  Concentration camps will do fine.  We can store them in Gitmo with the rest of the terrorists.

Am I joking?  Of course, but I have a legitimate point to make with this satire.  The Democrats have already dispensed with elections through massive vote fraud, partisan redistricting and disenfranchisement of the military.  They are dedicated to the acquisition of power through any means necessary; they are not committed to constitutional, representative, republican government.  So why would they object to a little thing like a coup?  It would just be taking Democrat tactics to the next level.

Don't Forget to Change Your Clocks and Your President

Disaster Alert

Obama Supporter of 2008 Interviews Herself in 2012 (Video, Satire)

Oh yeah, how's that hopenchange workin' out for ya?

For all you 2008 Obama supporters -- are you going to do it again?  Why?

Six Favorable Trends for Barack Obama

This just in...all economic trends are UP!  Obama's wise policies are working!  Here are the facts:

1.  Unemployment is decreasing!
Of course, that's because many former unemployed have committed suicide.  The rest are now serving burgers at McDonalds, delivering newspapers or digging ditches.


2.  Homelessness is declining!  
Thousands of the formerly homeless have found homes under freeway overpasses or have frozen to death.


3.  America is finally at peace with the Islamic world!
Or at least it will be just as soon as Obama signs the surrender documents.


4.  Americans are coming together like never before!
It's massive rioting as Americans attempt to strangle each other.


5.  America has finally solved the energy crisis!
We no longer need energy now that all industrial activity has ceased.


6.  We have finally wiped out hunger in America!
We are eagerly awaiting the next shipment of Soylent Green.

More Efficient Politics: Hang All the Liberals (Bitter Satire)

The left's attempt to destroy Herman Cain continues apace.  I have long wondered if politics is even worth all the trouble.  We should just ask the military to stage a coup, round up all the liberals and hang one from every telephone pole and street light in the country.  Really, would that be so different from the system we have now?

Then after all the liberals are swaying in the breeze, we could dig up the body of Saul Alinsky and put a wooden stake through his heart.

Since our political system rests on personal destruction of people, why not take that personal destruction up a notch?  Instead of merely ruining a man's reputation, instead of ruining their lives (like Tom DeLay) for political reasons, why not follow the practices to their logical conclusion?  At what point does politics, as "war by other means," become actual war?

Consider the following:

1. A man or woman runs for office as a conservative in America.
2. That man or woman starts to become hugely popular.
3. The Democrats begin to worry that the Republicans might elect the first REAL black president or woman president, upstaging the Democrats in the group-identity politics game.
4. Democrats hire operatives to investigate every aspect of the candidate's life, with an eye to finding any kind of human misstep, error or factoid that can be used against the candidate.
5. When something is found -- an ancient DUI conviction, an alleged "sexual harassment" charge, an unpaid bill, the employment of a gardener who, unknown to the candidate, was an illegal alien, a divorce or lawsuit, then bingo!  A weapon for character assassination has been found.
6. One or more of these ancient peccadilloes is then exploded by the Democrat-loyal mainstream media, analyzed with a microscope, dissected, discussed and condemned in both articles and editorials.  If the candidate doesn't remember all of the details of the incident (and he or she won't), or don't relate the facts with absolute accuracy, the media will then use this to show that, not only is the candidate some immoral wretch, but a liar to boot.

The result of this wretched system is that a good, decent, down-to-earth, non-lawyer everyman like Herman Cain can't be elected in America, where vicious propaganda and personal destruction decide who governs the country.

The system is rigged against us and has been for years.  Meanwhile, I look wistfully on all of those unused telephone poles and street lights.....[SIGH]...does anyone have the telephone number of the Pentagon?

Of course, this post was (somewhat) satirical.  I wouldn't really want to stage a military coup in America.  The red states should just secede from the union instead.

Bank of America To Fire PriceWaterhouseCoopers, Hire Hippies to Prepare Corporate Taxes

Outgoing:  PriceWaterhouseCoopers

Incoming:  the New Tax Preparation Team

THIS JUST IN.  Bank of America, feeling the intense pressure put upon them by 20 adolescent protesters in San Francisco on April 15, have decided to capitulate to activist demands.  The protesters, from a massive organization called "US Uncut," have demanded that the bank pay income taxes even if it does not owe any.

US Uncut has pointed out that corporations need to pay taxes, lots and lots of taxes, all the time, regardless of what their Big Four CPA firms may tell them.  These taxes are needed so the lazy and unproductive can live at the high lifestyle they feel they deserve for merely taking up space and producing nothing of value.

Bank of America's New Tax Manager 
Arrives for Work

Bank of America executives rapidly performed an internal investigation and found the problem:  their accounting firm, PriceWaterhouseCoopers was preparing their corporate tax returns in such a way as to comply with state and federal tax laws.  Obviously, too many MBAs and Masters in Taxation can spoil the broth.  Tax returns should not be prepared in accordance with bourgeois rules and laws, but in alignment with feelings, to meld with Aquarius rising, inspire harmonic convergence, manifest good karmic reverberations and above all, to pay lots of free and unearned moola to hippies and their modern equivalent, Democrats.

Effective immediately, PriceWaterhouseCoopers has been given their walking papers and a team of hippies has been hired to file amended corporate tax returns. Trembling in fear, corporate executives everywhere are hoping this extreme measure will spare them the withering financial analysis and public condemnation that 20 left-wing sociology undergraduates can bring, in what can only be called a public relations disaster for the corporate banking giant.

Breaking: Kim Jong Il Offers to Suspend Nuclear Program (Video)

Julian Assange Demonstrates His Style of Condom Use Before Committing Rapes (Photoshop)

Julian Assange demonstrates his style of condom use

A SABER POINT EXCLUSIVE!

Julian Assange of Wikileaks has been arrested in London by Scotland Yard.  However, he was not arrested for espionage activities against the United States, but on rape charges in Sweden.  Even worse, Assange is being vilified for not using a condom during the rapes!

Rumor has it that Assange has bitterly denied not using condoms during the reported rapes.  Assange swore that he always uses a condom when he rapes people, and also when undermining free nations with espionage.

Before Assange was frog marched into the nearest holding cell, he demonstrated his knowledge of condoms and even demonstrated the proper way to wear one.  See undoctored actual news photograph (okay, maybe it was Photshopped a little) included herein.  Since Julian may be going to prison soon and subject to homosexual rapes, we do hope he wears a condom as shown to fully protect himself against HIV and SDTs.

Further rumors state that Julian Assange wore a condom as depicted for a Halloween party where he went as a penis.

More as the situation develops....

A Divorce Agreement for Liberals and Conservatives

I am always getting these "pass it along" emails from friends, often containing some heart-warming tale or scary story that isn't true or some homey wisdom.  I usually don't even read them.  However, this one caught my eye and has some good ideas and is rather funny, so I thought I'd post it.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: 

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

NASA's New Outrageous Outreach: Muslims R Us

Words cannot describe how much I despise the Obama Administration.  I not only want to kick the bum out, I want to beat him up first, kick him in the ass with a combat boot, push him down a flight of stairs, stick his finger in a light socket, hit him in the face with a custard pie, give him a wet willie and a wedgie, and finally, tar and feather him and run him out of town on a rail.  Then I want to fumigate the White House before an actual American president moves in.

Why am I so irritated?  It's because this braying jackass has filed suit against the State of Arizona for attempting to police their own borders.   Imagine, suing to prevent a state from enforcing the law.  We need a good old fashioned civil war.  Where did I leave my Confederate musket?

A smaller irritation is his attempt to use NASA to "build Muslim self-esteem."  The best way for Muslims to improve their self-esteem is to convert to another religion.  In any case, I have a new logo in mind for Obama's NASA.  It's on the right.

The Gaza Flotilla Choir Sings "We Con the World"

This funny, musical video has been already linked by a number of sites; if you haven't seen it, do watch it. A little comic relief is necessary to retain one's sanity in a world gone mad.

The Muslim Tolerance Test: Hilarious Video!

With a big hat tip to my buddies at Infidel Bloggers Alliance.  Dedicated to Smitty of The Other McCain.

The Day Obamacare Died (Video, Satire)

Shovel it under already!

South Park -- a Leftward Tilt?

The Other McCain today has a post about South Park's latest episode, featuring Eric Cartman singing his lamentations over the rising tide of immigrant minorities to the United States.  I watched the episode over the weekend at the South Park website.  I have noticed that South Park appears to be titling leftward politically over the past few episodes.  This is after years of tilting right -- there was even a book a few years back about "South Park Conservatives."

First some background.  I love South Park and have watched every episode since its inception in 1996 (you can watch all of them at the link above).  South Park is often great for laughs when one is fed up with all the serious negativity in the news.  The show features four eight year old boys, Eric Cartman, who is fat, intelligent but bigoted, manipulative and selfish; Kyle Broflovski, the intelligent and moral Jewish kid, his best friend "every man" Stan Marsh, and the poor kid, Kenny McCormick.  There are other characters too, like Butters Stotch, and Stan's girlfriend Wendy Testaburger, but the first four are the main characters.

South Park is highly irreverent and insults anyone and everyone, whether they be politicians, egotistical celebrities or religious personalities.  It has lampooned Jennifer Lopez, Barbara Streisand, Scientology, the Mormon religion, Osama Bin Laden, Tom Cruise and many others.  Some notable examples:

Episode 1006 lampoons Al Gore's eco-alarmism in an issue called "ManBearPig," a mythical creature that Gore is sure is wandering the world and attacking humans without cause.

Episode 1109 has men attempting to break the world's record for taking the biggest crap.  Craps are measured in units of weight known as "Katy Courics," or simply "Courics" for short.

Most of the episodes, however, are mostly just for fun, though they may (or may not) contain some moral point or lesson.  Often the theme is merely to satirize artistic mediocrity, as in the last "Indiana Jones" movie or the films of comedian Rob Schneider.

In late 2009 the episodes seem be taking a leftward tilt.  In Episode 1314, Cartman's racist song "My Water Park" is extraneous to the plot and is pasted on for no apparent purpose, other than to establish the broad-minded credentials of  the South Park writers.  The song highlights the "hateful attitudes" of undefined racists.  However, there is no point to the song as it isn't used to advance the plot or provide an epiphany, i.e. a "lesson learned" insight.

Prior 2009 episodes that seem to tilt leftward are these:

1311 - Stan leads the movement to fight the Japanese slaughter of whales and dolphins; he learns why the Japanese are so malevolent to whales and dolphins, and persuades them to cease this slaughter and substitute the slaughter of cows and chickens instead.  "Now they are just like us!"  PETA will like this epsiode.

1313 - Eric Cartman becomes the new morning announcer at South Park Elementary School, reading the school's news announcements, lunch menu, sports activities, etc.  However, Eric always takes his assigned role way too far.  He begins dressing in a suit and tie and starts denouncing the student body president, Wendy Testaburger, for being a tool of socialists and an oppressor of the Smurfs, and either incompetent, immoral or corrupt, and probably all three.  Cartman even writes his own book where he says he is "just asking questions," so as to avoid legal liability for the smears.  One scene shows him with light hair, a touch of gray at the temples, wearing a light blue tie and looking intently into the camera with tears in his eyes as he laments the ruination of his school by its student body president.  It's pretty obvious that Eric is supposed to represent Glenn Beck.

However, episode 1313 has a mixed theme, portraying Wendy Testaburger as a Sarah Palin figure who is finally hounded out of office.  She resigns as president of the student body, and writes her own book, "Going Rogue on the Smurfs."  Perhaps the true purpose of episode 1313 is to lampoon political demogoguery, whether it be from the left or the right.

I think it is unlikely that South Park will go too far left. If they do, they will surely hear about it.

Photo of the Day: the Change Express Hits a Pot Hole

Via: Lucianne.com

How to Tell If You're a Racist

Click on image to see it full size.

































Hat tip: Powerline
Via:  Missourah

The Cap and Trade Bill, as Sung by Michael Jackson Boehner

Via Serum de Liberte