A Job-Seeker's Cover Letter in the Age of Obama

I've been out of work for three months now.  I have applied for many jobs without so much as a How-de-Do from employers.  Today I applied for a position with a CPA firm.  I know that my application will be lost in a pile of other desperate job-seekers, so I thought, "what the hell?"  I decided to just be honest and say what I felt.  If I am ignored it will be no different than from all my other applications.  Here's the cover letter I emailed to the employer:

Hi guys,

Would you consider hiring an experienced CPA on a contract basis? I think I may be overqualified to hire on a perm basis, but you can decide that.

My experience includes both tax, audit and accounting, and lately, a lot of consulting in accounting and SOX.

Right now I am taking a 40 hour CPE course in individual taxation to get up to speed on all the changes for 2009. I am somewhat of a geezer, which is only a problem if my duties include taking your teenage daughter to the prom or explaining hip hop music to GenYers. Otherwise, I am good to go! I love computers and high tech, am very much up to date on computers and software, have advanced Excel skills and great communication skills. Also, I get along well with people and clients.

For the next few days you can reach me at my cell phone (408) XXX-XXXX and, assuming I don’t get some work soon, underneath the nearest highway overpass where I will be living in a cardboard box. (Don’t you just love this economy??)

Excuse the humor. I am usually as serious as a heart attack but that hasn’t worked so far.

Sincerely,

Stogie Chomper

P.S. My resume is attached. Don’t hold it against me.

Let them ignore me, at least Mrs. Chomper and I had a riotously good laugh over what I wrote.

I'd better get back to studying taxes. I will need to reopen my accounting practice when the busy season starts and I need the knowledge.