Saturday, October 08, 2011

9/11 Truthers Revealed to Actually Be String Puppets; a False Fag Operation

Dylan Avery
Alex Jones
I watched an interesting episode of the History Channel  tonight, one that debunked the 9/11 "Truther" Movement and their 9/11 conspiracy theories.  I absolutely detest conspiracy theories, except my own of course, which are the only ones that are true and correct.  I have heretofore believed that the 9/11 Truthers, including the pimple-faced frat boys of "Loose Change" fame, to be slightly lower on the moral scale than cockroaches.

Here is my conspiracy theory.   The 9/11 Truth movement is a conspiracy itself.  I have it from a good source that when the planes hit the World Trade Center on 9/11/2001, that Alex Jones was working the east side of Manhattan, dressed in drag, with a purple feather boa, high heels, dangling earrings and bright red lipstick.  Needing new recruits for his 9/11 I'm-Batshit-Crazy movement, Jones had planned to disguise himself as a gay man in drag, attract gays, and then when the gays were least expecting it, begin handing out pamphlets, e.g. "9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB" and preaching the new religion of Controlled Demolition.

Before he could shanghai any gays, however, his wig fell off, revealing a rather strange looking man beneath the make up.  Gay men screamed warnings to each other, saying "It's a FALSE FAG operation!  Run for your lives!"

Next, I have it on good authority that "Loose Change" (sometimes referred to as "Loose Nut") author Dylan Avery is actually a string puppet.  He doesn't actually exist as a real human being, probably put together in a very realistic fashion by puppeteers from Hollywood.  If you look at pictures of Dylan  Avery and increase the resolution several times, you will note strings attached to his ears, his mouth, his cute little puppet legs.  This explains how he is able to dance around the truth with such great skill, immediately adapting to every giant hole blown into his theories by people who aren't crazy.

Yes, I used to hate cockroaches until the 9/11 Truther movement came along.  Now cockroaches seem downright nice by comparison.

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