A Christmas Questionnaire: Pass It Along

I received this questionnaire from my niece. She's sweet but likes to send all these non-essential emails to everyone she has known since the maternity ward (when she was born). I usually ignore them but decided to finally answer one and have some fun doing it.

Questions are in red, answers are in green. Feel free to torment your family and friends by sending it along.

Stogie

You know the drill. Highlight, copy, and paste (not forward or reply) and change my answers to your answers. Enjoy!! Everyone has time for a few moments of fun! And don't forget to send this back to me! ~Don't be a scrooge!!!~

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Both, but I like whisky in my egg nog and marshmallows in my hot chocolate. Or is it the other way around?

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Both. I've really got that old boy trained. No wrapping, no cookies and milk. He cries like a little sissy girl without those cookies. It's pathetic, really.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored - I'm not prejudiced. If I want white lights I'll buy a light bulb. Ha ha!!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nah, I get all the kisses I want. I just grab the little woman and plant one on her. The neighbors have learned to ignore the screams.

5. When do you put your decorations up? The first week after Thanksgiving; tree is up the first day, lights hung on house during the first week. By Christmas I too am all lit up.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Wild boar with an apple in his mouth; stewed Yak from Tibet. Will settle for turkey and dressing.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Snowy Christmases in Missouri; getting up on Christmas day and getting my first bike. The one Christmas when Bro and I caught Santa in a bear trap and made him give us new cap guns and cowboy hats before we would let him go. We used to tie our baby sitter to a stake, too. We pretended to be wild Indians and she was our captured pioneer. She was a good sport and thought it was great fun. Right up until we lit the firewood.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? You mean the fact that he doesn't really live at the North Pole but in a condo in Florida? I think I was about 50 when I learned this. I was shocked beyond belief. Is nothing sacred?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We did that when we were kids, but I don't allow it in my house now. Tradition! I insist upon it. Besides, I liked to torture my kids.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Point my wife at it and say, "Sic 'Em!"

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it. Love it; I haven't had a White Christmas in 50 years. I mean, 40 years, since I'm really not that old, honest.

12. Can you ice skate? I tried it once while I was in high school. It wasn't pretty and I don't want to talk about it. I was in traction for a month.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My first bike. It had training wheels, which was strange since it was a Harley.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? The lights, Christmas music, the cold, rainy days, great naps, corny Christmas shows on TV where the old guy turns out to be the REAL Santa Claus (there is ALWAYS a child who knows his true identity and stands by him through thick and thin). Finally the child is proven right, the cynical adults are put in their place and everyone gets their every wish granted and they all live happily after. Gag!! I hate formulaic Christmas shows. On the other hand I always rewatch George C. Scott's performance as Scrooge in the 1984 TV production of A Christmas Carol. It is the best Scrooge portrayal ever and if you don't agree you're an idiot. Period.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Custard and a Filipino dish called Maya Blanca, which is a kind of corn pudding. Sounds terrible but it is delicious. The candied sheep eyeballs are another story.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? When wifey takes pictures of me and son opening Christmas presents and we both fake a great big amazed smile with our mouths wide open and our eyes bugging out, as if we just received the Hope Diamond as our gift.

17. What tops your tree? An angel, but we still have the fragile one made of paper and paste that son made with his grandma about 20 years ago. We don't use it anymore because it is too fragile.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving. I don't really care what people give me as long as it is very expensive. Ha ha!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Silent Night. I love the way Kenny G plays it on his clarinet. Also, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," first sung by Judy Garland in "Meet Me in St. Louis." I also love the Vince Guaraldi jazz trio who played the theme music to "A Charlie Brown Christmas" for the 1965 TV presentation of the same name. I have the CD and play it every Christmas in my car. I also love Earth Kitt's sexy rendition of "Santa Baby."

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yummy? Yummy. They make great swizzle sticks!