Carlos Danger (AKA Anthony Weiner) Returns! (#Weiner)

Drudge today tells us that Anthony Weiner, a sexting Democrat, has returned.  A few years back Weiner was pressured to resign from Congress after tweeting a picture of his erection (under his gym shorts) to the public by accident.  He claimed his account had been hacked, but was ultimately forced to admit he just screwed up.

Weiner is married to a Muslim woman, Huma Abedin, who is Hillary's chief aid.

I previously wrote about Weiner's escapades in several posts, but my favorite is this one from July 27, 2013, in which I described him as "the Walter Mitty of Masculine Sexuality":

Anthony Weiner:  the Walter Mitty of Masculine Sexuality #Weiner

July 27, 2013

What a Sex Pot

Anthony Weiner is an embarrassment, not only to the Democratic Party, but to men in general.  He is running for Mayor of New York, but it recently came to light that he has been "sexting," sending salacious text messages to young women, posing online as "Carlos Danger" and displaying his genitals digitally.  This week he held a joint news conference with his wife, admitting his online foolishness while his wife dutifully stood by him.

This is not Weiner's first forage into madness.  Back in 2011 he accidentally tweeted a picture of his crotch with an erection, which led to his resignation from Congress after it was revealed he lied about it to the media, falsely claiming that his Twitter account had been "hacked."  I wrote about his foolishness here.

After resigning from Congress, he kept right on doing his online pursuits, meeting women online and sending sexy texts and revealing images of himself.

The man has a serious problem.  He apparently has a deep need for young women to find him sexy and masculine and desirable.  Unfortunately, he has only the sex appeal of Don Knotts or Steve Urkel to fulfill his Sean Connery fantasy.  Anthony Weiner is not only not handsome, he is rather homely, nerdy and utterly forgettable.

Weiner reminds me of the Walter Mitty character featured in James Thurber's short story, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."  Walter Mitty is a senior citizen, not terribly competent at anything, and led around by his wife who manages him closely.  During a shopping trip to the city, Walter Mitty engages in one heroic fantasy after the other.  He imagines himself to be the commander of an airship during a fierce battle, a defendant in a murder trial who is a crack shot, a World War I Airforce captain who must fly through hell:

. . "The cannonading has got the wind up in young Raleigh, sir," said the sergeant. Captain Mitty looked up at him through tousled hair. "Get him to bed," he said wearily, "with the others. I'll fly alone." "But you can't, sir," said the sergeant anxiously. "It takes two men to handle that bomber and the Archies are pounding hell out of the air. Von Richtman's circus is between here and Saulier." "Somebody's got to get that ammunition dump," said Mitty. "I'm going over. Spot of brandy?" He poured a drink for the sergeant and one for himself. War thundered and whined around the dugout and battered at the door. There was a rending of wood and splinters flew through the room. "A bit of a near thing," said Captain Mitty carelessly. 'The box barrage is closing in," said the sergeant. "We only live once, Sergeant," said Mitty, with his faint, fleeting smile. "Or do we?" He poured another brandy and tossed it off. "I never seen a man could hold his brandy like you, sir," said the sergeant. "Begging your pardon, sir." Captain Mitty stood up and strapped on his huge Webley-Vickers automatic. "It's forty kilometers through hell, sir," said the sergeant. Mitty finished one last brandy. "After all," he said softly, "what isn't?" The pounding of the cannon increased; there was the rat-tat-tatting of machine guns, and from somewhere came the menacing pocketa-pocketa-pocketa of the new flame-throwers. Walter Mitty walked to the door of the dugout humming "Aupres de Ma Blonde." He turned and waved to the sergeant. "Cheerio!" he said. . . .

Weiner is the Walter Mitty of masculine sexuality.  Carlos Danger's desired prowess exists only in his imagination.

Republican Jackass

What a Maroon.

Tiger Woods's Wife Is Leaving Him -- Just Before Christmas

I was afraid it would come to this.  Fox News is reporting that Tiger Woods's wife, Elin Nordegren, is moving out of their Florida mansion and returning to Sweden with the children.  Tiger is not going with them.

Read it all here.

Great News for Tiger Woods: Pee Wee Herman Is BACK!

Pee Wee Herman

Just two days ago I wrote that Tiger Woods's dilemma reminds me of Pee Wee Herman.  Pee Wee Herman, whose real name is Paul Reubens, lost his career a few years ago when he was arrested in a porn theater.  Not a great career move for an actor who starred in a children's TV show.  Like Woods, Reubens fell from the public's grace overnight, the subject of innumerable jokes, derision and deafening peals of derisive laughter.  It wasn't pretty.

HOWEVER, that was a long time ago, and Pee Wee Herman is making a comeback!  Paul Reubens is opening his new stage show "The Pee Wee Herman Show" at the Club Nokia Theater in Los Angeles next month.

Now the only problem is to sell tickets to the show and to convince the audience that the now 57 year old Reubens is still a naughty child named Pee Wee Herman.  Good luck with that.  I hope Reubens pulls it off is a big success.  I always liked the guy.  After that "Tequila" dance scene on the bar in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure," who could not?  Besides, I always root for the underdog, having been one myself most of my life.

Anyway, back to my point.  If Pee Wee Herman can come back after ten years in public exile, so can you Tiger.  On second thought...never mind.

Here's the "Tequila" scene I mentioned earlier for those interested.

Stand By Your Man: Elin Nordenger Will Stick With Hubby Tiger Woods

It's a lot easier to forgive a guy with a billion bucks.  In any case, Fox News is reporting that Elin will stick with Tiger Woods.  I hope so.

Tiger is not a bad guy.  He is, like most men, a little boy in a larger size.  Turn a hungry and unmonitored kid loose in a candy store and he's liable to help himself to the cookie jar.  Hey Tiger, how'd you get all that chocolate on your mouth and face...and hands?  GASP!  YOU DIDN'T!

In any case, what he did was wrong.  If we didn't learn to control our highest emotions, we'd all be in jail...or divorce court.

Below is a video of Tammy Wynette singing "Stand By Your Man, Especially If He's Loaded."  Okay, I just made up the last four words.

Tiger Woods' Unfolding Nightmare

It's amazing how fast a popular personality can descend into public scorn and ridicule.  Tiger Woods made millions of dollars from his golf and product endorsements.  That was when he was the multicultural megastar of sports, young and handsome, with a winning smile and personality and a wholesome image of a husband and father.

Over the last two weeks, it was disclosed that Tiger Woods has been unfaithful to his wife, with as many as 11 known affairs.  No longer seen as a "wholesome" image, sponsors may drop Woods like a hot brick.  He has become radioactive, a public relations nightmare.

The late night comedians are having a field day.

Letterman noted that Tiger Woods has been on the Wheaties Box (14 times, as a matter of fact) but Wheaties won't put him on it anymore.  Considering the stamina required to bang 12 women, Letterman quipped that now, more than ever, he deserves to be on the box.

Jay Leno quipped that, in order to save time, Tiger Woods should just release a list of the women he hasn't had sex with.

Gatorade has dropped Tiger's image from their Tiger Woods Focus bottles.

It has been reported that other sponsors are pulling their Tiger Woods endorsements from prime time TV.  This could cost Tiger Woods millions in lost ad revenues.  Can he ever recover?

I think the answer is no, he will never recover completely.  His self-inflicted plight reminds me of Paul Reubens, the actor who played the role of Pee Wee Herman.  Reubens's "Pee Wee Herman" role was very popular with children.  Reubens made two movies and had a successful television show for kids, called "Pee Wee's Playhouse."  When Reubens was arrested in a porn theater for "flogging the log," his public image was destroyed overnight.  He too faced widespread scorn, ridicule and late-night TV jokes.  He never recovered.

Reubens has been all but invisible since then.  He has made cameo appearances on some television shows and is trying to make a comback.  Alas, once one falls from public grace, his career is practically shot.  Fatty Arbuckle, the silent screen actor and comedian, is probably the most egregious example of this.  Falsely accused of rape and murder, he was acquitted by a jury and received a public apology, but his career was dead.

Tiger Woods, however, is neither Pee Wee Herman nor Fatty Arbuckle .  No doubt he will at least partially recover and continue to earn money from endorsements, perhaps at a reduced level.

Then there's the question of his marriage.  Will it survive the scandal?  Or will his wife move out and take the children and the bank account with her?  I hope not, but if Elin Nordegen can forgive Tiger for cheating and publicly humiliating her, she is more forgiving than I would be.

Personally, I hope Tiger can somehow turn it around.  I'm rooting for him.  If it were up to me, I'd give him a mulligan and let him replay the hole take the shot over.

Tiger Woods Wife Moves Out?

Radar Online is stating that Elin Nordegren, wife of Tiger Woods, has moved out of their Windermere home.

This is not surprising, following recent revelations of Tiger's multiple extra-marital affairs.

Read it here.

I like Tiger Woods.  I do hope he can save his marriage, grow up, keep it in his pants, and stay with his family.

Tiger Woods Admits "Transgressions"; Voice Mail (Audio)

Tiger Woods has released a public statement admitting to "transgressions" regarding his wife and family.

Websters defines "transgression" as "infringement or violation of a law, command or duty."  My definition is more to the point:  Tiger done his wife wrong.

Rachel Uchitel has denied any affair with Tiger Woods but other women are now claiming that they did have dalliances with the famed golfer.  Jaimee Grubbs, a 24 year old cocktail waitress is one, and she backs up her claim with text messages and voice mail from Tiger Woods.  The voice mail is embedded below, where he tells Grubbs to take her name off of her telephone so it won't appear on his and be detected by his wife.

Tiger Woods has a beautiful wife.  He is an immature fool in my book.

Photos of Rachel Uchitel, Mistress of Tiger Woods (?)

Fox News has a slideshow of this femme fatale:  "Who is Rachel Uchitel?"

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO! Tiger Woods at Emergency Room Entrance!

We were given this exclusive photo of Tiger Woods at the hospital emergency room entrance.  This was following a suspicious arrangement of a golf club over his cranium, courtesy of his wife, following revelations of Tiger's affair with another woman.

Reports from the scene say the 7 iron was successfully removed from Tiger's head.  He will recover.  However, he will have to replace that 7 iron, which appears beyond repair.

We are unable to vouch for the authenticity of this photograph.  Use at your own risk.

Tiger Woods: Cheating Ain't Worth It (Pictures of Wife and Girlfriend)

Early this morning Tiger Woods ran over a fire hydrant on his property in Florida and then crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a tree.

At first everyone was concerned that the popular golfer had an unfortunate accident.  Now, however, the talk is taking another direction:  that Woods crashed into a tree at 2 AM because his wife was chasing him with a golf club.

Medical experts are now measuring the badly bent shaft of the golf club found at the scene to see if it fits the silhouette of Tiger's head.  Ostensibly, Mrs. Tiger Woods used the club to break out the rear window of the Escalade to free Tiger after his accident.  However, there is now speculation that she broke out the rear window with the aim of making contact with Tiger's skull.

But why the lovers' spat?  Ask the National Enquirer, the dirty tabloid newspaper that runs stories about Elvis marrying Bigfoot in a UFO.  Sometimes, however, they do get the story right:  the Monica Lewinsky scandal was one of those times.  Now the Enquirer is reporting that Tiger Woods has been having an affair with a blonde socialite named Rachel Uchitel.  Uchitel is pretty, for sure, but Mrs. Woods ain't no slouch either.

The top pic is of Tiger Woods, his wife and baby. That's Rachel Uchitel in the bottom photo. I suppose that fame and fortune and a bevy of willing beauties would tempt most men, but it isn't worth it, Tiger.  Keep your lovely wife and family.  Stay away from temptresses like Rachel Uchitel.  Otherwise, your wife will divorce you and take your fortune with her.  As the old song goes,

I'd better keep her

It's so much cheaper

Than makin' whoopee.

Rod Stewart explains it all in the video embedded below.

Carrie Prejean's Sex Tapes (Yawn)

So Carrie Prejean made a sex tape for her boyfriend back when she was 17.  Except now the boyfriend said she made about twenty tapes and she was actually 19 when she made them.

Prejean became a darling of the right a few months ago when she told a beauty contest judge that she didn't approve of gay marriage.  This really ticked off the judge, one Perez Hilton, a guy who's so gay that he even makes gays feel uncomfortable.  So there was a big controversy; Carrie wasn't politically correct, she didn't verbalize the standard talking points for the political left and for Hollyweird and, horror of horrors, cited her faith in Jesus Christ as a reason.  We just can't allow anyone who isn't a doctrinaire leftist to be Miss California.

They couldn't fire her for her "intolerance" so they found some racy photos of her and used that as an excuse instead.  Prejean then sued the Miss California Pageant; their lawyers produced the teen sex tapes (to further prove Miss Prejean's lack of modesty) and the lawsuit was suddenly settled out of court.

Well I agree with Prejean about the gay marriage deal; I don't like it, but, realistically, it will happen sooner or later.  What I really dislike even more than gay marriage is people asking questions about it during beauty contests.  No matter what the contestant says, she is going to really annoy a lot of people.  Another thing I don't like in my Christian conservative poster girls is one who makes sex tapes.  No, I don't want to look at them.  She's too young, too blonde, too skinny and those false boobs make her look like someone shot her in the back with a couple of torpedoes.

In any case, I am sick of hearing about Carrie Prejean.  She is no angel, that's for sure and certainly no poster girl for conservatives.

Sebelius Pays $7,000 in Back Taxes: So What?

This story just in from the AP:

WASHINGTON – Health and Human Services nominee Kathleen Sebelius recently
corrected three years of tax returns and paid more than $7,000 in back taxes
after finding "unintentional errors" — the latest tax troubles for an Obama
administration nominee. The Kansas governor explained the changes to senators in
a letter dated Tuesday that the administration released. She said they involved
charitable contributions, the sale of a home and business expenses.

It seems the "errors" she made on her charitable contributions and business expenses were limited to a lack of documentation. That's no big deal -- if I lost my documentation but knew I had made the expenditures, I'd take the deduction. The tax rules aren't set in stone -- that's why they have an active tax court, and sometimes you can justify expenditures with other evidence or you can seek to obtain copies of the required documentation. Often, you can negotiate with the IRS.

Taking a deduction for mortgage interest on a house she had sold seems odd. Usually a taxpayer receives a form 1098 from the mortgage company stating the amount of interest paid for the year in question. It's hard to make a mistake because of this. However, if the seller financed the sale to Sebelius, the latter wouldn't receive a form 1098 and it would be easier to make a mistake.

I imagine that $7,000 in back taxes for a woman in her tax bracket is rather insignificant, especially since it represents three years worth of returns. As a financial professional who actually does tax returns, I am not offended in the least by this.

Making a mistake does not make Sebelius a "tax cheat." It is silly for us conservatives to make an issue of this, though if the tables were turned, the Dems would broadcast it to the world and put the dirtiest spin on it imaginable. Just because they are Machiavellian doesn't mean we have to be. Besides, we have much bigger fish to fry.

Via Memeorandum

Via Yahoo News

My Son Works for AIG and We're Not Giving Back the Damn Bonus

My youngest son works for AIG in Los Angeles. I have a nephew who works for AIG in San Francisco.

What can I get my son to buy me with his million dollar bonus? Well a sea chest of fine cigars would fit the bill. Also, I have my eye on a fully carved upright bass from Romania. A little red sports car would also be cool.

I have advised my son not to return the million dollar bonus, but to instead buy his dear old Pop a bunch of neat stuff.

Then he informed me that, since he's a recent college grad and only in first year at AIG, he didn't get a million dollar bonus. Or any bonus for that matter.

DAMN! What kind of a bail-out is that? Chris Dodd, you incompetent bastard. I can do without the red sportscar and the bass can wait, but I really need those cigars.