Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Barry Manilow: In Touch With His Feelings

Barry Manilow, corny 70's singer extraordinaire, canceled an appearance on the TV talk show the View this week. Seems Manilow doesn't like the show's lone conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who Manilow claims holds opinions that are "dangerous" and "offensive."

How absolutely chicken-hearted you are, Barry-boy. You slander Hasselbeck without describing any specific views or opinions and without any explanation as to why they are "dangerous" and "offensive." Who is put in danger by her views? And who is offended and why?

In a real debate, you'd get your ass handed to you because you don't really hold any "views" per se, you just hold squishy-soft, saccharine-sweet "feelings."

Feelings...nothing more than feelings...Woh, woh, woh! Sorry, got carried away.

So listen up, Barry boy. You just insulted 50% of your fan base and you can't affort to lose any. I am (was?) one of those fans. Well, not a real strong one, mind you, but I do have your latest CD of love songs from the Fifties. My wife got it for me last Valentine's Day. I even listened to it. Once. And my wife and I once went to see you when you appeared at the outdoor theater in Mountain View. Enjoyed the show. At the Copa, Copa Cabana...the hottest place north of Havana....

So anyway, Barry-boy, this whole episode makes me think about your last name, Manilow. The first three letters seem a bit inappropriate for a pretty-boy like you, but the last three letters describe you pretty well. If you ever grow a brain I may even buy one of your CD's again someday.

But don't count on it.

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