Stephen Hawking's Nightmare Scenarios: Yawn

Attack of the Killer Mushrooms

It appears the great theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking is now warning that we must leave earth and begin colonizing other planets.  The reason is that because we are all so selfish, aggressive and messy, we are destroying our environment and need a new litter box for the human race.

It's amazing how so many scientists predict doom and gloom for eons into the unfathomable future.  Not sure what brand of crystal ball Hawking is using these days, or whether it has been recently calibrated.  Hawking proclaims:

"It will be difficult enough to avoid disaster on planet Earth in the next hundred years, let alone the next thousand, or million. The human race shouldn't have all its eggs in one basket, or on one planet. Let's hope we can avoid dropping the basket until we have spread the load."

Well now, there's a practical suggestion for a non-existent problem.  Hawking cites the number of nuclear warheads still in existence as support for the coming disaster.  And if those don't bring extinction to the human  race, there's always the doomsayer's favorite fallback, global warming.

University of Sussex astrophysicist Dr. Robert Smith said global warming may reach a point "where all of Earth's water will simply evaporate." He said life will disappear on Earth long before the 7.6 billion years some say the aging sun will expand and destroy Earth.

Since we are imagining nightmare scenarios that are based strictly on fantasy rather than scientific fact or research, does one really need to be an astrophysicist to let one's imagination run wild?  Why not predict that mushrooms will sprout legs and teeth and begin eating humans as a garnishment for steak?  The perfect revenge!  Or that Bessie will climb out of Loch Ness and begin spitting fire and stomping Tokyo like Godzilla?

So to Hawking and Smith, I say SHUDDUP!  If I want to scare myself I'll watch Hulu.com reruns of old Night Gallery episodes.  The scary scenarios of egghead scientists, for me, conjure only mild disgust, because of their obvious leftist political slant:  Man is BAD.  The world would be such a nice place without humans!  Vote Democrat now and free the world of the human race.

A more practical solution would be to contact carnivorous space aliens and have them transport all liberals to their planet for a nice meal.  The liberals being lunch, that is.  Now there's a nightmare scenario I could live with.

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