Sunday, December 26, 2010

True Love: Hugh Hefner, 84, to Wed Crystal Harris, 24

It was announced over Twitter that Hugh Hefner, 84 year-old perpetual adolescent, has given an engagement ring to Playmate Crystal Harris, 24. We have it from a good source that Hefner walkered himself into the room and gave Harris a big red lollipop -- the ring was embedded therein and Harris discovered it on the 23rd lick.  "Ooooh, a ring," she squealed, as she dropped her Barbie Doll and danced a jig around the room.  "Does it squirt water?  Is it a magic decoding ring?" she asked.

The happy couple has much in common:  Hefner remembers World War II and Crystal remembers last week.  Hefner loves Benny Goodman and Big Band music while Crystal loves Hip Hop and Rap.  Hefner is a fan of Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant. Crystal is a fan of SpongeBob SquarePants.

What will this twosome do when they aren't having hot sex?  Probably have deeply intellectual conversations about mysticism, quantum mechanics, federalism vs anti-federalism, string theory, parallel universes and the physics of black holes (the ones in space).  Or maybe Hugh will just fall asleep while Crystal plays video games.  Yeah, probably the latter.

Hugh baby, you made it to 84 and haven't yet figured it out:  there's a big difference between a sex partner and a soul mate.   At your age you should be far more concerned with the latter than the former.  HINT:  a soul mate is someone who would marry you even if you weren't filthy rich. Does Crystal really fit that definition?

16 comments:

Always On Watch said...

Crystal will probably make a mint on her memoirs of her nights with good ol' Hugh. **wink**

Stogie said...

Yes and she will enrich herself with goodies until the old guy croaks, and probably get a nice chunk of change (though it will be limited by a prenuptial agreement).

Anonymous said...

zolpidem no prescription zolpidem 10 mg cost - zolpidem tartrate generic ambien

Anonymous said...

buy valium valium dosage for dental procedure - valium and anxiety dose

Anonymous said...

generic zolpidem zolpidem tartrate intermezzo - zolpidem side effects skin

Anonymous said...

buy ativan online ativan withdrawal in newborn - better high ativan klonopin

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online difference between xanax pills bars - xanax pills blue

Anonymous said...

xanax drug xanax withdrawal with valium - xanax side effects anxiety

Anonymous said...

xanax for sale without prescription xanax and alcohol overdose - xanax withdrawal .5

Anonymous said...

ativan price gravol ativan withdrawal - how to buy ativan online

Anonymous said...

ativan online ativan dosage pediatric - ativan uses in elderly

Anonymous said...

buy valium online valium for anxiety about flying - pictures of generic valium pills

Anonymous said...

discount valium where to get valium in bali - stress medication valium

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online ambien side effects rage - where to buy ambien no prescription

Anonymous said...

valium no prescription needed valium for sale no prescription - many pills valium

Anonymous said...

valium cost valium xanax interaction - 5mg valium vs xanax