Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunday Roundup: Copenhagen, Tiger Woods, Barack Obama and the Price of Tea in China

Copenhagen:  So what's up with this Copenhagen thing?  Here it is in a nutshell:  the world's nations are meeting in Copenhagen, Denmark to agree on global rules for stopping man-made global warming.  There is no man-made global warming, but that won't stop them from creating draconian rules that will suffocate our economy, transfer billions of our hard-earned dollars to third-world countries and severely reduce our economic future and individual freedoms.

Protestors at the Copenhagen meeting are mostly communists who want these severe measures to pass.  They know that these measures are really "socialism by other means."  You think the economy is bad now?  As President Obama once promised, "You ain't seen nothin' yet!"

Tiger Woods:  The world's greatest golfer and most popular athlete shot himself in both feet two weeks ago when his multiple affairs with beautiful women were revealed.  Overnight his lucrative product endorsements disappeared from the airways, his wife is considering divorce, and Tiger's face is red, which isn't easy for a black guy.  On the advice of his wife, Tiger has now withdrawn from professional golf until further notice, or at least until the swelling goes down.  Experts say Tiger will never regain his image as the wholesome, all-American guy, in which case he should change his professional endorsements from razor blades and automobiles to Viagra and Trojans.  Except that Tiger apparently doesn't need the former and didn't use the latter.   Oh well.  We still love ya, Tiger, come back soon.  And put some ice on that.

Barack Obama:  Barack Obama, perhaps the most over-hyped president in American history, has fallen on bad times.  The homeless are now naming their new shanty-towns "Obamavilles," similar to the "Hoovervilles" of the Great Depression.  President Obama vowed to fight the new depression by issuing free cardboard boxes for the homeless to live in, and free downloads of the song "Brother Can You Spare a Dime?"  However, I'm not sittin' on my butt.  My new street corner business, selling apples, is doing great.  I sold two yesterday.  That's me on the left.

In any case, Prez Obama's approval rating continues to fall, with the latest Rasmussen "
Presidential Approval Index" standing at negative 19 points.  That is his worst showing so far, but "You ain't seen nothin' yet!"

Price of Tea in China: What is the price of tea in China these days?  Beats the hell out of me.  It's hard to believe, but I don't know everything.

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